Horizons That Differ.

Gloomy evening, 4.51pm on a Monday, I hate this feeling. No, I despise it. Despise is a strong word and it is the perfect description for my feelings. The feel of guilt and constant glances at my watch. I can never seat with ease these days. I'm always filled with this feeling of uneasiness and a sense of deep regret. 

The number to my exam is getting to a lesser digit after each day that passes by. And I am here. Not doing anything about it, but filled to the core with guilt and constant regret. Which is the worst kind of "being here". I am two months away and three months to being done with. I cannot wait to the days I finally wake up actually looking forward to what's ahead. But for now, I wake up knowing that what lies ahead would be nothing else rather than textbooks and classes and textbooks and classes. And if it wasn't, I will go through the rest of the day with a mind off. The grass isn't looking too green at this side anymore. More like, a sad, wilted, brown.

The only thing that's been keeping me at sane ground is a person I know and my computer. Which is also the same reason why I am insane. I always feel so inane. And I feel like there isn't much I can do about but to only depend on time to brush it off, which is worse than actually being inane. I know this feeling is only temporary but temporary is taking it's sweet, sweet time. God dammit. I have so, so much to look forward to in three months time. So much planned. So many adventures. Appears to be promising before it actually happens but then it's all long days at home in bathrobes drinking bad coffee. But I like to be hopeful. And to be frank I'd much rather have the worst of those days than the best of these. I am on a constant crave for adventures and excitement. But for now, my insides needs be tamed.