The Confession.

I'm Elissa Rosli and I have been experiencing a serious case of writer's block. Not that I would ever qualify myself as a real writer however. It's not the lack of ideas or thoughts but instead it's the too much of ideas and thoughts all anticipatingly waiting to be blurted out through the tips of my fingers touching an electronic board of alphabets. I have been writing alright. All. The. Time. The only problem with it is, my too many ideas comes off as much as vomit -horrible choice of description- all out and I get a rush through my fingers -like having my fingers consume caffeine- and then all of a sudden, it stops. So for over a year now, I have been writing short paragraphs of rather interesting and profound things captured throughout this journey called my life. My inconsistent, roller coaster, life. But as good as they are, they are left inside my drafts for the eyes of none to see. I am a big perfectionist unfortunately. Everything I do, I pour my heart into, I expect perfect outcomes. Like blogs posts, I expect with every "publish" button I press, perfection is written. I start doubting those hundreds of short paragraphs and think it wouldn't be worthy enough to be published on this electronic diary of mismatched feelings. In which a minority of people, oddly, seems to be enjoying themselves with. Thank you for reading my much abandoned blog. 

When I started this blog, I did not expect attention on it. Nor did I ever wished for any. I was just a bored thirteen year old with too much free time on her plate. Well of course, back then it was a nightmare. Now look at how far it's came. It's overwhelming to see the number of views I receive here. To be aware of the amount of people that reads. My intention when I write here is never, not ever, to impress any form of living thing or to promote myself. The topic of me owning an electronic diary is never brought up in any exchange of words between me and other people. I never tweet, text, whatsapp, tumblr about it. I just leave a link to it on my twitter biodata and the magic flows by itself. For someone who barely writes on it, never promotes it and is terrible at updating it, I think I have made quite an achievement with it. It's scary to think that so many people out there, people I am sadly not aware of, read my miscellaneous and messed up thoughts. Or whatever it is that is up there.