Insignificantly significant.

To my fifteen year old self,

My oh my... where do I begin. You have no idea what's in stall for you, naive one. Remember that night you turned thirteen and you had your best friend on the other line at exactly 12.01AM. Gasping for air, so full of excitement she said, "You're thirteen now, Elissa! We both are. We can do whatever we want!" Fools. You believed her. You did. And you started going your own way in life. Felt as if the world was yours to conquer and that nothing, nothing at all was beyond that. And when you were fifteen you thought the sun was going to swallow up everything left of the Earth but you felt content anyway. Because you had lived you thought. You had lived at least three teenage years. And you thought that was enough to have seen, felt and experience all the world had to offer. But little did you know, it was merely a speckle of soil in the garden you're about to experience called "the next few years of your life". And my dear, those next few years of your life is when life truly happened for you. 

At seventeen you will finally return love back for the first time. And at seventeen too it will break your heart. Not of a another being but of the person you let the love made of you. It's heartbreaking... How did you ever lose yourself? 

And at eighteen, you found yourself again in the small speckles and trails of your everyday. You found passion in day to day adventures. You look for love in every person you cross paths with in life, even the bad. You found interest in educating yourself. You found happiness in feeding your soul with the lessons you take along with you. Life will surprise you at this point and it's scary. But it's also the leap to take to living the life you have desired.

To my fifteen year old self,

Have faith. Have faith that eventually, just like everything else, it will fall itself into place. But that's the inevitable beauty that comes along with being human, you feel. And I hope you continue to feel. Feel everything. And never take a single thing for granted in your life.

Today you turn nineteen. And your soul is in a much calmer place. Your blood no longer rushes to the mimic your hearing senses touch on irrelevant details about yourself, from the people that don't vividly recognize details of you anyways. The petty, the opinionated and the mindless are no longer a distraction nor a burden however you only wish them well. You still cry, occasionally, but never of the same reason twice and what it makes you out of it is only wiser. You still love the people you once loved, even if their presence are no longer in reach of your sight. However every once in awhile you find yourself staring into void space thinking how they are and how they might be as you brew a cold morning's coffee. And you hope they are doing fine over there. You educate yourself everyday. You live, you learn and you move on. Every day of your life without failure. And thank god, thank god your heart is still pure. And your intentions are still gold. Although it might not seem that way sometimes but I promise you, it is.